Thursday, January 27, 2011

the anxiety is back

well i narrowly escaped the stomach flu.....not. i have been puking since 8am. i am not pregnant yet so its definately the flu. i have a whole new anxiety for what may come if i do get pregnant. i have a huge gut ache with this virus. im miserable. and yes i am a bit scared now for what may come.  whew, craziness, confusion. is it the right thing to do, can i make it through, so many questions come with this preview. i want another baby, am i strong enough to do this again. man, its a tricky thing, the ptsd other hg sisters speak of is now coming to my body. i see how it may be there. i thought i was fine. whew what a challenge we all experience with this dis-ease.
there is a new hg blogger out there and after i read her story i havent been able to get it off my mind. then i wake up to the stomach flu. i will be posting about her experience and the reawakened frustration i and many others have with medical personnel and aloof-ness the medical community has with this debilitating dis-ease. unbelievable. i am grateful for other hg blogs and messages.

when im done herfing up my guts here i will introduce you to this new blogger and hopefully open your mind to the desperate need we all have for this to be OUTLOUD.

one thing i noticed with the stomach flu; once i throw up i feel good for a little bit, unlike hg where there is NO break from the nausea, it is constant and nagging and miserable. reminds me of natural childbirth with pitosin vs without pitosin. lol. if you have experienced both you know what im talking about.

gotta go for now.

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