I was asked why i could not get a surrogate. I really hadnt thought that through. My friend Linda mentioned to my mom that she would do it. Crazy I say. What a nice thing to offer. BUT I just cannot imagine not carrying or bonding with my BB during the gestation process. A book I have read and love to go back to from time to time is called Mother Daughter Wisdom by Christiane Northrup. Its a unique and beautiful perspective many aspects of motherhood, particularly for me the part about the bonding begins at conception. She goes on to explain in scientific and energetic detail the many facets involved. I love it.
That being said, HG is debilitating and yuck for me but the whole time I am grateful for baby and the ability to grow and care for this baby in this body. Its a blessing and an amazing miracle. Its my favorite subject at parties....babies. Me and my husband are often called baby pushers. It seems I put the HG out of my mind the minute I am on my own to eat drink and be merry baby maker.
Thank you Linda For such a great offer, im have tempted with my anxiety for this one but I am gonna go for it. I wont forget the offer and the sweet caring behind it.
I was talking with my brother the other day and he said cant you just adopt. Yes, but its expensive and sometimes timely. What about Foster others say. Well I could and prolly will someday, but the thought of sending some of those precious spirits back to the environment they came from after i have fallen in love with them( first day) isnt pretty. I get attatched to kiddos.
I know I cannot save the world my friends, but I can be the best that I can be. I cant wait for baby #3 to join our family. This is not to say that we would not consider adopting later. I will be 40 so this is my last hurrah. Thanks for reading, hope you all have a great saturday.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
The video part of this journey
I will start the video in a week or so. Im no pro but i will do my best to cover it all.
i was just thinkin.
wouldnt it be nice to be able to listen to music in peak HG. i could put together a very healing set filled with music by friends and favorites now n past. well it could happen. ha. today i am printing an alkaline food list. i hear female spern live in more acidic environment. so eric you are gonna have to cut back on the hersheys kisses for a bit. sorry hun, its not forever.
im not so anxious today. more at ease knowing everything is going according to plan. still get a bit queasy every once in a while remembering and knowing what is to come.
Some are prolly thinking well thats a negative attitude. Just assuming youll be sick. You may just be that guy that brings me ginger and saltines after ive lost 20 lbs. lol.
Came across a HG blog today called youeatanf......ncracker. cracked me up. The one thing you never say to a woman who has been hurfing for weeks, not eatin, cant chug water and has lost 20lbs is Have you tried ginger or saltines. Ha. i can tell they or we have tried it all. oh wait i mean the picc was our first line of defense. All kidding aside this is why I am doing a video blog, so all of you that are taking my word that i get real sick can see for yourself what all these woman endure to grow healthy baby.
100 years ago we would all be dead. That is crazy. Anway, just thinkin today. hope you are al making today a great day.
im not so anxious today. more at ease knowing everything is going according to plan. still get a bit queasy every once in a while remembering and knowing what is to come.
Some are prolly thinking well thats a negative attitude. Just assuming youll be sick. You may just be that guy that brings me ginger and saltines after ive lost 20 lbs. lol.
Came across a HG blog today called youeatanf......ncracker. cracked me up. The one thing you never say to a woman who has been hurfing for weeks, not eatin, cant chug water and has lost 20lbs is Have you tried ginger or saltines. Ha. i can tell they or we have tried it all. oh wait i mean the picc was our first line of defense. All kidding aside this is why I am doing a video blog, so all of you that are taking my word that i get real sick can see for yourself what all these woman endure to grow healthy baby.
100 years ago we would all be dead. That is crazy. Anway, just thinkin today. hope you are al making today a great day.
Flash Backs & Anxiety
Hoping for the best planning for the worst. If the worst comes we shall be prepared, rather more prepared. It is amazing the support and encouragement I have receieved reading other HG moms blogs. Some of them are pregnant now and approaching HG time others are not ever going to do it again. I have decided to inhabit the closet during the months of des-ease. We have a walk in, sort of. It is really dark inside. It is inside the bathroom as well. Sort of sound proof too. I am going to cover the windows in the bathroom and put an hospital bed inside the closet. That way my husband wont be coming in and out all the time. In Peak HG it is no good for in and outers.
I had crazy dreams last night and woke up at 330 am. Couldnt turn my brain off of planning. finally went back to sleep at 630. I have been having flashbacks. Planning ahead sure gets me thinking about all the things I attempted to forget. Ha. Anyway its got me remembering for sure. I went shopping for a cozy sweater, easy on easy off for PICC time. Gonna by some burkenstock clogs too. They are so easy and cozy. I also got a thin winter hat for those trips to the doc cuz i wont be fixin the hair. The hair. With my first, Undiagnosed and ignored my hair got so ratted up, when i was able to sit in the shower, I did just that sat on the floor and dumped the whole bottle of conditioner on my head. My mother in law had to gingerly comb it out. I think we spent 2+ hours on it. Ugh. I have laura ingles hair. All the same length Down passed the middle of my back. The 2nd time around I went in and had them make two locks of love and cut it just under 2 inches short. I wasnt having a rats nest this time. Ha. NEVER CUT YOUR HAIR OFF WHEN YOUR PREGO. Lesson learned, but no rat. O the anxiety, Im not even prego yet.
Before, I never even mentioned babies til i was in getting a picc and couldnt think anymore. SO it feels weird talking about it before hand. BUT I am grateful to have this opportunity to PLAN things. I email the nanny today about the 4 months. Cant be just anyone caring for my Precious little Jewells while im on sabbitical. Thats what Im calling it now. I can look at it many different ways. I thought this was kind of funny. I wont have any responsibilities, I can lay around all the time. (the hardest part) The good news is, when your muscles have atrophied there is no tention to be found. I am a massage therapist and seem to carry a great deal of stress in back, shoulders and neck. MY therapist goes super deep and yet the buggers wont let go. When Ive lied around for four months there is no tention. No pain in the thumbs wrist arms. Its great. LOL. I continue to find the positives. THE BEST PART IS IM GROWING A BABY. Its humbling for the family to not have mommy all the time. I am surely appreciated when its time to re-enter the world.
So it looks like I will empty all things out of the closet and begin the remodel(of sorts.) Wish me luck and creativity
I had crazy dreams last night and woke up at 330 am. Couldnt turn my brain off of planning. finally went back to sleep at 630. I have been having flashbacks. Planning ahead sure gets me thinking about all the things I attempted to forget. Ha. Anyway its got me remembering for sure. I went shopping for a cozy sweater, easy on easy off for PICC time. Gonna by some burkenstock clogs too. They are so easy and cozy. I also got a thin winter hat for those trips to the doc cuz i wont be fixin the hair. The hair. With my first, Undiagnosed and ignored my hair got so ratted up, when i was able to sit in the shower, I did just that sat on the floor and dumped the whole bottle of conditioner on my head. My mother in law had to gingerly comb it out. I think we spent 2+ hours on it. Ugh. I have laura ingles hair. All the same length Down passed the middle of my back. The 2nd time around I went in and had them make two locks of love and cut it just under 2 inches short. I wasnt having a rats nest this time. Ha. NEVER CUT YOUR HAIR OFF WHEN YOUR PREGO. Lesson learned, but no rat. O the anxiety, Im not even prego yet.
Before, I never even mentioned babies til i was in getting a picc and couldnt think anymore. SO it feels weird talking about it before hand. BUT I am grateful to have this opportunity to PLAN things. I email the nanny today about the 4 months. Cant be just anyone caring for my Precious little Jewells while im on sabbitical. Thats what Im calling it now. I can look at it many different ways. I thought this was kind of funny. I wont have any responsibilities, I can lay around all the time. (the hardest part) The good news is, when your muscles have atrophied there is no tention to be found. I am a massage therapist and seem to carry a great deal of stress in back, shoulders and neck. MY therapist goes super deep and yet the buggers wont let go. When Ive lied around for four months there is no tention. No pain in the thumbs wrist arms. Its great. LOL. I continue to find the positives. THE BEST PART IS IM GROWING A BABY. Its humbling for the family to not have mommy all the time. I am surely appreciated when its time to re-enter the world.
So it looks like I will empty all things out of the closet and begin the remodel(of sorts.) Wish me luck and creativity
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Baby #3 VS. Hyperemesis Gravidarum
Havent conceived bb#3 yet. Fertile Christmas week. Wahoo. ....sort of. I am a bit anxious at the thought of being so sick again but at the same time I maintain a positive outlook that maybe just maybe this time will be different, better.
I begin this blog today because I am going to video and blog my HG experience this time around from beginning to beginning, no matter how bad it gets. I say beginning to beginning because today would be the beginning as HG sets in it seems like the end and as the HG tapers off it is a new beginning and so on. I am as prepared as one can be knowing what may lie ahead.
I have had friends and family asking if it is real and wanting to see for themselves. Unable to fathom the amount of agony i describe and that I would do it over again, again.
We are attempting to plan it so much better this time. Hopefully a Nanny to help with Lily and Crosby. A mealtrain or organized frozen meals for the family and a doctor that is familiar with my situation.
There are several resources out there for families, friends, and physicians reguarding HG yet, women still go un diagnosed and untreated till they have reached dangerous dehydration and lost a ton of weight. It is not treated seriously, soon enough by physicians who have not encountered this dis-ease before.
I will add many links to other survivors of the illness and their, traumatic and successful stories.
One day i will share my first two experiences with HG but for now its all roses. OPK tests begin nearing Christmas if all goes as per usual we shall be well on our way to HG baby #3.
I begin this blog today because I am going to video and blog my HG experience this time around from beginning to beginning, no matter how bad it gets. I say beginning to beginning because today would be the beginning as HG sets in it seems like the end and as the HG tapers off it is a new beginning and so on. I am as prepared as one can be knowing what may lie ahead.
I have had friends and family asking if it is real and wanting to see for themselves. Unable to fathom the amount of agony i describe and that I would do it over again, again.
We are attempting to plan it so much better this time. Hopefully a Nanny to help with Lily and Crosby. A mealtrain or organized frozen meals for the family and a doctor that is familiar with my situation.
There are several resources out there for families, friends, and physicians reguarding HG yet, women still go un diagnosed and untreated till they have reached dangerous dehydration and lost a ton of weight. It is not treated seriously, soon enough by physicians who have not encountered this dis-ease before.
I will add many links to other survivors of the illness and their, traumatic and successful stories.
One day i will share my first two experiences with HG but for now its all roses. OPK tests begin nearing Christmas if all goes as per usual we shall be well on our way to HG baby #3.
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